In the short story, " Winter Dreams" by F. Scott Fizgerald, there is a lack of kindness. SD Dexter used to have kindness though. CM He was in love with a girl named Judy Jones. CM She was beautiful, and right when Dexter looked at her he knew he was in love and hoped he could find kindness, and love. SD Through out the book Dexter keeps trying to find it. CM Then he finds out the Judy doesn't really love him. CM After all of the pain he had to go through with Judy, he doesn't understand why he isn't feeling kindness yet. CS In the End of the book he is starting to understand.
The Poem "Kindness" by Naomi Shihab Nye has a different view on kindness. SD In the poem Ms. Nye talks about about how kindness follows you like a friend. CM I think she is trying to tell us that when ever you are feeling down, kindness can all ways help you feel better. CM Kindness is also something you can always count on. SD The kindness that Ms. Nye is talking about, is the kind that Dexter Green was looking for. CM The kindness is one that will always have your back and that is what Dexter is looking for. CS Ms. Nye really understood the meaning of kindness.
TS In my life I mostly have kindness. SD Unlike Dexter Green I have not had a lack of kindness in my life, but I have witnessed small acts of unkindness. CM They are not big acts, they are little acts, like not holding the door for someone, or people talking about someone behind the persons back. CM They are little but they are still there and are not kind. SD Kindness in my life comes from my friend and family. CM They are always there supporting me and they always have my back. CM They are always there to give me comfort. CS Even though there is hurtfulness in my life, kindness can overpower.
Kindness is a big part of my life. If i ever am feeling down I can turn to my family and they can make me feel better with there kind words. In "Winter Dream" Dexter was looking for that and in the poem "Kindness" that is what the poet was talking about.
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SELF ASSESSMENT
Things I've Been Working on=
I hAve been trying to correct all of my corrections. The are usually stupid mistakes. I have also been working on unnecessary words.
Weak Parts in my Essay=
In my essay I don't have a lot of quotes. It is also hard for me to find the grammatical errors.
Grade=
C+
5 comments:
KATE SCOTT (MIRANDA)
This is a wonderful essay!! I thouroughly enoyed your third body paragraph because you truly related it to your life. I also enjoyed your closing paragraph because it brought the essay together with some very good points!!! Suggestions? Maybe you should try to get your opening paragraph to be more eyecatching? (I have the SAME problem!!) Also read over carfully and check for grammar issues! Other than that....
YOU ARE GOOD!
-Scarlet Caruso(ARIEL)
KATE
Good start! I liked your topic paragraph when you said, " In my life I have had kindness. I am lucky." That second sentence is a great utilization of a short sentence. However in the second body paragraph there are a lot of typos. For example, "In the poem Ms. Nye takes about about how kindness follows you like a friend." Also in the concluding sentence of your first body paragraph, you have a couple of capitalization errors, and it's also vary vague. Try to add another sentence to explain, what and how Dexter understood. Overall, just read it over one more time, to look for typos and spots where you can add a little more information to benefit the reader.
Also, don't forget to add some quotes from "Winter Dreams" or the poem, just to help you in getting your point across.
Dear Kate, great essay! One thing you can do is read it over to find mistakes, such as in the second paragraph don't forget to put a comma after beautiful. I really enjoyed your third body paragraph. Don't forget a title, and some quotes would help. Good work!
DON'T FORGET YOUR SELF-ASSESSMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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