Scarlet Caruso
English 9
Hamilton Salsich
4/30/09
Kindness:
A Fictional Character, a Poet and a Fourteen-Year-Old Girl
1:If you could talk to a character in a book, what would you say? 2:Naomi Shihab Nye would certainly have a lot to say to Dexter Green of “Winter Dreams” by F. Scott Fitzgerald. 3:Dexter would have much to say to her as well. 4:They would tell each other the truth, their opinions, their take on kindness and their relativity.(TETRACOLON CLIMAX)
TS:In “Kindness” by Naomi Shihab Nye she talks about how you can discover kindness, in your life, when you love, and when you can't find it. (LOOSE SENTENCE) SD:She would have a lot to say to Dexter Green. CM:She would tell him that, “Before you know what kindness really is- you must lose things.” CM:She would mean that in losing Judy maybe he might find kindness. SD:Another thing she would tell him is that she understands what he went through.CM: She knows, “how desolate the landscape can be between the regions of kindness.” CM:She would tell him that he isn’t the only one who, at one point, didn’t know kindness. CS:Ms. Nye would certainly have a lot to tell Dexter Green and if she could talk to him she would give him great advice and insight.
TS:Dexter Green experiences a lot of adversity(SAT WORD) throughout the story, so he would have so much to say to Naomi Shihab Nye. SD:Dexter, depressed and down, would disagree with Ms. Nye almost completely. (APPOSITIVE) CM:He would tell her that he doesn’t understand that, “you must wake up with sorrow” to see decency in the world. CM:He would ask her why he is so sad all the time if he lost Judy. SD:He would also question her saying that kindness would follow him “like a shadow or a friend.” CM:He would tell her that there is no gentleness that he has seen since Judy left him. CM:Dexter would not understand Ms. Nye’s interpretation of kindness. CS:Dexter Green would ask Ms. Nye many questions about her poem and how she believes we find benevolence (SAT WORD) in our lives.
TS:If I could join in this discussion of kindness, I would have a lot to say. SD:I would agree with many of the things Naomi Shihab Nye says in her poem. CM:For example, I thoroughly agree that you have to feel the absence of kindness to learn what it truly is. CM:In my life I have experienced cruelty and I know that it’s wonderful when you see loveliness again. SD:I might also agree with Dexter on a few of the things he said. CM:When you lose something forever it can really take your happiness away. CM: When My Aunt Elaine passed away I wondered where the kindness in the world had gone. CS:I would love being a part of this conversation because I could relate to the subject in many ways.
1:A fictional character, a poet, and a 14 year-old girl may seem to be an incompatible (SAT WORD) group but some very good points would be made about the kindness in life. 2:Losing people or objects you love helps you appreciate goodness. 3:Sometimes, when you lose these key things in your life it can hurt for a long, long time. 4: You can find out the answer to some of life's questions when you take people from different backgrounds, professions, and worlds. (LOOSE SENTENCE)
English 9
Hamilton Salsich
4/30/09
Kindness:
A Fictional Character, a Poet and a Fourteen-Year-Old Girl
1:If you could talk to a character in a book, what would you say? 2:Naomi Shihab Nye would certainly have a lot to say to Dexter Green of “Winter Dreams” by F. Scott Fitzgerald. 3:Dexter would have much to say to her as well. 4:They would tell each other the truth, their opinions, their take on kindness and their relativity.(TETRACOLON CLIMAX)
TS:In “Kindness” by Naomi Shihab Nye she talks about how you can discover kindness, in your life, when you love, and when you can't find it. (LOOSE SENTENCE) SD:She would have a lot to say to Dexter Green. CM:She would tell him that, “Before you know what kindness really is- you must lose things.” CM:She would mean that in losing Judy maybe he might find kindness. SD:Another thing she would tell him is that she understands what he went through.CM: She knows, “how desolate the landscape can be between the regions of kindness.” CM:She would tell him that he isn’t the only one who, at one point, didn’t know kindness. CS:Ms. Nye would certainly have a lot to tell Dexter Green and if she could talk to him she would give him great advice and insight.
TS:Dexter Green experiences a lot of adversity(SAT WORD) throughout the story, so he would have so much to say to Naomi Shihab Nye. SD:Dexter, depressed and down, would disagree with Ms. Nye almost completely. (APPOSITIVE) CM:He would tell her that he doesn’t understand that, “you must wake up with sorrow” to see decency in the world. CM:He would ask her why he is so sad all the time if he lost Judy. SD:He would also question her saying that kindness would follow him “like a shadow or a friend.” CM:He would tell her that there is no gentleness that he has seen since Judy left him. CM:Dexter would not understand Ms. Nye’s interpretation of kindness. CS:Dexter Green would ask Ms. Nye many questions about her poem and how she believes we find benevolence (SAT WORD) in our lives.
TS:If I could join in this discussion of kindness, I would have a lot to say. SD:I would agree with many of the things Naomi Shihab Nye says in her poem. CM:For example, I thoroughly agree that you have to feel the absence of kindness to learn what it truly is. CM:In my life I have experienced cruelty and I know that it’s wonderful when you see loveliness again. SD:I might also agree with Dexter on a few of the things he said. CM:When you lose something forever it can really take your happiness away. CM: When My Aunt Elaine passed away I wondered where the kindness in the world had gone. CS:I would love being a part of this conversation because I could relate to the subject in many ways.
1:A fictional character, a poet, and a 14 year-old girl may seem to be an incompatible (SAT WORD) group but some very good points would be made about the kindness in life. 2:Losing people or objects you love helps you appreciate goodness. 3:Sometimes, when you lose these key things in your life it can hurt for a long, long time. 4: You can find out the answer to some of life's questions when you take people from different backgrounds, professions, and worlds. (LOOSE SENTENCE)
4 comments:
SCARLET!
Really great start! I really liked how you explained if Ms. Nye and Dexter would agree with each other. It was very interesting. But in your second body paragraph, I believe it would work better if you combined your two topic sentences into one sentence. It would flow much nicer. Also, you might want to consider re-wording this sentence: "She would have very much to say to Dexter Green." It sounds a little funny to me, maybe just replacing "very much" with- a lot. Overall,a veeeerrrrryyy fine essay Scarlet!!!
ARIEL!!!!
that was an amazing essay! i loved it. i really liked your intro it made me wanted to find out what naomi and dexter would say to each other. Some things you could think about is your closing sentences in the first body paragraph. i think if you combined them it would sound even better! also your title. i think instead of saying a 14 year old student, maybe girl. other then though's i loved your essay almost as much as i love Kidz Bop, and you know how much i love that.
-Miranda
Scarlet-Nice! I really liked how you personified their hypothetical discussion. You really brought life to it. Sometimes there were short substances that could be combined. Besides that I think this is a great essay!
DON'T FORGET YOUR SELF ASSESSMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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