Scarlet's Essay

TS:What if one morning you, yawning and stretching, woke up and realized that so many things you have done in your past have affected your future? SD:Now you regret those silly things you did a long time ago because your life would have been better if you had or hadn't done them. SD:Regrets haunt everyone. SD:It doesn't matter if you are 20 or 103, you will always have regrets. SD:But is it right for a fourteen-year-old girl to worry about the fact that she didn't study for a upcoming test and then failed it? CS:Is it fair for the poor teenager to nag herself about it and put herself down because of it?

TS:Why do people have regrets? SD:Maybe it is because you did something and it hurt someone you love. CM:If only you had thought before you had said because now you have lost the person forever. CM:That can really hurt because you know that one thing you have done of said made you lose that relationship. SD:Perhaps you should have said something that you didn't and you know that you would have had more fun because of it. CM:For instance, say you didn't ask your special someone to dance. CM:You now regret it because you know that you would have had a great time together. CS:Regrets affect so many people and sometimes the regrets are silly little things or something that cost you a important relationship.

TS: I have many regrets that I try not to dwell on to often. SD:Firstly, I wish that when I was younger I enjoyed the small amounts of homework each night and the fact that all I had to worry about was whether I would be the line leader the next day. CM:Now I look back and it all seems so easy compared to the essay's we write each week and worrying about which high schools I am going to get into. CM:I wish that I had cherished the carefree moments of my childhood. SD:Another regret I have is not getting to know as many kids while out on Martha's Vineyard for the summer. CM:I had many opportunities to make knew friends but, I choose to stay inside watching TV. CM: Although I made one really good friend, I wish I had made others. SD:Finally, one of my biggest regrets is the mistake I made in seventh grade. CM:I had a friend and at the time we were becoming best friends. CM:I thought that I could tell her anything and that we would be there for one another through whatever. CM:Then one week she had been annoying to me and I thought it was a good idea to tell another friend that I didn't really like this girl anymore. CM:It was one of the most ludicrous mistakes I've ever made. CM:In short my friend and I are not as close as we were and it makes me sad because I know that if I had just kept my mouth shut we could still be great friends. CS:Some of my regrets are simple slip-ups that could have easily been avoided while others are ones I will always carry with me for a long time but no matter what, they are regrets and they all bother me sometimes.

TS: Regrets affect millions of people everyday. SD: We all have frivolous regrets like forgetting to where our red shirt instead our blue shirt. SD: Then there are the regrets that annoy us daily and the ones where we know our lives would have been better if we had acted differently. CS: No matter where you are or however old, regrets can hurt and bother but it is just a way of life.

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Date: 12/15/08 Assignment: Regrets Essay

1. I am trying to work on my grammar, such as spelling and punctuation. Also making sure that everything is under one large "umbrella".

2. I enjoy my fast words and I believe they are apt. Also I think this is a somewhat organized essay.

3. I am not entirely sure that my chiasmus is completely correct. My second body paragraph is also not in perfect 11-sentence form because I needed more sentences

4. My Grade: C

Kimo's Essay #12

Kimo Gray
12.15.08
Mr. Salsich
English

Regrets: Live, Learn, Move on

“The successful person frets over the past and worries over the future, while the happy person lives in the moment, not a care of what has happened or what will.” This quote, of which I have quoted numerous times as my friends will tell, speaks of everyone, and the decisions they make that bind them to their fate. If this unknown philosopher is correct, then there is also no way to be both happy and successful; how then, do we make this impossible choice? I believe in letting go of regrets, and making amends to the amendable, and forgetting the unforgettable.


Why do we hold regrets when we know that the past does not contribute to the future? It is sensible to not hold regrets, to always move on like clockwork. But we are not a sensible people. We are a people of emotion of sentimental sensations, and therefore it would be impossible to abolish regret. One example of regret in my life would be the insignificant opportunities I have with my family that I waste. Whether it is putting my brother to bed, or just playing a time consuming board game with my sisters, I never seem to make time, always preoccupied with everything at once. I love my family, and I know that all that I do for them makes up for these minor regrets. Another regret I have is with procrastination. Procrastination is a deadly disease; one that is founds in the bright colors of television and distractions and is not fought with antibiotics but rather with will-power. I have often struggled with procrastination, and I always feel empty when the day has arrived with no paper to give, no presentation to share, nothing to give but a hollow “sorry.” But I learn to move on, to see the world anew every day and to make sure the old mistakes aren’t repeated, relearned, or rejected. Whether I am a ‘procrastination-aholic,’ or there isn’t enough time in the day, regrets are something to be worked past, and though they may never be gone, that doesn’t mean we can’t rise above them.


I am only 14 years old, but as of late I have taken a good long look at my life and assessed how to prepare for another future. In our 9th grade forum, many students spoke of contrary beliefs of mine; many suggested that the only way to go throughout life was with regrets. The quantity of people alluding to this statement shocked me- perhaps my way of thinking ad been wrong. If so, I would have to believe that I would regret believing in not having regrets. Regrets certainly are a large part of life, whether you chose to dwell on them or move past, there will always be regrets. One amend I discovered in my life was to become more organized in my school life, in my home life, and in everything I do. It has brought me happiness overcoming this regret, as I now don’t have to drag myself through my room or dig for a paper in my plan book. Now that I don’t have to worry about the past in the present there is no need to worry about the future. My father, a man who maybe not the most impressive man I know but is definitely one of the greatest, always imposed his beliefs on me as a child. Whether this was wrong on his part, I know not to say but he did teach me important things in life, the difference between right and wrong, how to always win at tic-tac-toe, how to treat others, and how to treat yourself. Living with regrets is always a hard thing; contrary to my advice I have lived my life with many large regrets that only till recently had been contained like a little red sandstorm in the back of my head. But letting go of your regrets is the key to happiness, and it can come to anyone, even a 9th grader.


I like to think of myself as a happy person, but then I am not one to dismiss the past or to abolish the future. Regrets can come in all shapes and sizes, and it is our each personal struggle to deal with them. Whether it’s something small like forgetting to brush your teeth, or something bigger, life goes on. Be happy when you can, because though a life without regrets may be a life without care, a life without care is not a life at all.


1. I am trying to work on organization in my writing. I’m also trying to understand the tools better.
2. I enjoyed my chiasmus, as I think it contributes to the passage well. I also like my S-V split
3. I think that my concluding paragraph wasn’t very exciting, and that I may have gotten a bit sidetracked in my first body paragraph.
4. C




Bold-Chiasmus

Italics-S-V split

Kates Essay

TS: The definition of regret is to feel sorry, disappointed, or distressed. 2: Should a 14 year old really be feeling that? 3: I don’t think that is good feeling for a kid to be experiencing. 4: Of course I have been disappointed in my life but it is not something that I dwell on all the time.



TS: One of the things that I was disappointed with in my life was when I got my assessment grade back. SD: After working hard, and long I was very disillusioned when I received my grade. CM: At first I didn’t really understand why I got the grade, and I thought it was because I was honest and said that I did not have a good experience at the Elms. CM: That made me start to think that if I lied and said I had a great time at the Elms I would have gotten a better grade. SD: I don’t believe that that is why I got my grade any more though. CM: Sometimes, when someone brings up assessment I still wonder if I did it differently, would I have gotten a better grade. CS: But then I quickly think to something else because there is no reason for a 14 year old to be disappointed in herself.



TS: Some things that I can change in my future is to be ready for disappointment. SD: There is always the possibility that I will get a bad grade in there future and I should not be to upset by it the next time I receive one. CM: I should accept the grade. CM: Once I can accept it, I can then learn from it. SD: In the back of my head after a test or a quiz I make sure that I know it may not get an A. CM: I’m not being pessimistic, I'm being prepared. CS: I don’t want to feel so let down like I was with my assessment grade.


TS: When I got my assessment grade back it was not a good feeling and I don’t ever want to be that disappointed in my self like that again. So far I have not and I would like to keep it that way.

Kates Inclass Essay

Kate Scott
December 4, 2008
English 9
Feeling Guilty:
In Class Essay about the book “Christmas Carol” By Charles Dickens

TS: Is there some thing you have done that you wish you could change? Do you still wonder what would have happened if you changed your self just a little and maybe every thing would have turned out better? Jacob Marley from the “Christmas Carol” wishes he were a happier and nicer man when he was alive.



TS: Guilt is some thing that we all carry around with us, and some times it stays with us for the rest of our life. SD: Jacob Marley, a character from the “Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens, is a good example of carrying around guilt. CM: When he was a live he wasn’t a happy man. CM: He was grouchy and it started to ware off on to scrooge. SD: Now that Marley died he has to wear these chains that I think represents his guilt for not having a fulfilling life. CM: That is the reason that Marley came back, to tell Scrooge all of this was to make sure scrooge did not have to go through that when he dies. CM: Marley can’t stand the thought of putting his business partner, and friend though that. CS: Scrooge will hopefully not have an afterlife filled with guilt.




TS: There is no need to have to be guilty through out your whole life. Every one should try and fallow Marley’s advice for living life. Everyone should travel, should give advice, and should be happy. If you do, you should not have to be like Jacob Marley.


BLUE- Purposeful Repetition

Kimo's In Class Essay

Kimo Gray
12/04/08
English 9
Hamilton Salsich

Do you believe in ghosts? Or rather, do you believe in the eternal punishment that enfolds and tortures those whose lives had brought not but cruelty? Jacob Marley, a former, now deceased, bank teller in Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol,” gave his get exponentially cruel partner Ebenezer Scrooge a glimpse of life after death. Marley, a truly evil man who cared nothing but for the money and suffering of all who owed him presented to Scrooge his spirit, of which carried a grand change of deeds, chain boxes, and symbolic trinkets now solidified in iron that gave Scrooge a glimpse of what awaits him after death.
It is said that the good man, be as he is, will always fall behind those who cheat, those who care more about the end than the getting there. This can be said of Ebenezer Scrooge, a rather wealthy man whose only concern was collecting the day’s profit. At first it seems he is above life itself, he feels no need to fall into the silly “humbug” they call Christmas. In fact, he lives in a mansion, lives in wealth, and lives only with himself and his cold heart. “Now Marley was dead,” Dickens makes sure to make that very clear. But even in their eternal rest, there is eternal restlessness for those, such as Marley, who have shown no kindness to humankind, has not “[Gone] forth in life” and given all he had taken. He appears to Scrooge with that chain, that chain of greed, of guilt, of remorse, and of eternal pain. Now seven years ago to the night Marley died, and he promises that Scrooge’s was as long and laborious as his chain seven years ago. Marley travels the Earth, seeing for himself what it was like to have been happy, to have seen the kindness that he could never share, could never feel. Nobody condemned Marley to this fate; rather Marley had condemned himself, and swears that Scrooge’s chain is waiting for him. Though “Cheaters never win, and winners never cheat” (anonymous) doesn’t mean that those cheaters shouldn’t get a second chance, and Marley offers to Scrooge a way to change all that, and to experience kindness before it is to late.
Jacob Marley was a man, just like any of us, who just didn’t lead the life that would lead to salvation. It makes people wonder what is on the chain they bear, a vial of tears, a purse of greed, or perhaps, no chain at all. Jacob Marley was a man, but in death, he was eternal despair. But poor Jacob, be it as he is, still took the time to go to Scrooge and offer his only friend the life that he never lead, and in doing so, brought a little more kindness into the world.


Purposful Repetition: Italics

Chiasmus: Bold

In Class Essay

Parker Verhoeff

Mr. Salsich

9th Grade English

December 4 2008

In, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, Marley's ghost returns from the dead and explains to Scrooge how to live his life. Marley's ghost also tells him what will happen to him if he keeps leading a life of bitterness and coldness. Marley tries to tell Scrooge this, before he too is left to wander between heaven and hell.

TS: Marley explains, "It is required of every man [...] that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellowmen [...] if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death." he is left to wander for eternity searching for what he didn't accomplish while he was alive. SD: Since Marley didn't "walk among his fellowmen", he wears chains that represent his troubles during life, and his troubles during life represents his chains. CM: Marley states "I wear the chain I forged in life [...] I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it." because he he must drag his burdens along with him. CM: But he made it clear that it was all his fault, it was on his "own free will". SD: He tells Scrooge that he must acknowledge everyone and stop his misanthropic ways; stop hating people for no reason. CM: If Scrooge doesn't want to end up like him, he should change his whole outlook on life. CS: Marley tries very well to make Scrooge see what could happen to him, but I still don't think Scrooge understands it yet.

Marley's ghost is very informative, and is a good example of what Scrooge could end up as. He explains how he needs to change, and what will happen to him if he doesn't. Marley tries to get his point across before it's too late.

Scarlet's Essay #7

TS: Do you have a right to be mean to someone just because they are different than you? SD: The kids at Stump Olsen's high school thought that they did. SD: Heterosexism, it's mouth and fists bruising the bones and heart, strikes again. CS: Situations like Mr. Olsen's happen everyday, but who is going to stop it?


TS: According to Dictionary.com heterosexism is a prejudiced attitude or discriminatory practices against homosexuals by heterosexuals. SD: Discrimination can be against anyone, of any race, religion, or sexual orientation. CM: Some people hate another person because they're different, and many people find it wrong. CM: Stump Olsen, being a gay woman who gave us a talk on LGBT* issues, was beat up everyday because of it. SD: I believe that there are two types of discrimination, physical and emotional. CM: Name calling can hurt as much as a punch to the stomach. CM: Both are painful, but emotional seems to leave a wound that is harder to heal. CS: Heterosexism is something a lot of people would love to stop, calling someone mean names hurts and just because they are different it gives people no reason to be awful to them.


TS: When Ms. Olsen talked to us about her story she made me realize two important and wonderful facts. SD: Firstly, words can hurt, "the saying, sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, is a lie!" Ms. Olsen said. CM: I find this to be true, you could say something and mean it as a joke but it can really hurt someone. CM: We must always be careful of what we say because it could really bother another person. SD: Something else that I realized that we at Pine Point are very lucky to have, is that we all respect one another. CM: We are very lucky to have such a great community. CM: Ms. Olsen was "getting jumped at least twice a day" at her high school, but I feel if one of us came out gay we would support that person completely. CS: Ms. Olsen helped us all to realize that words can sometimes hurt more than physical abuse and that we have a exceptional community together.

TS: Heterosexism takes place daily at a lot of schools, workplaces, and even some people's homes. SD: We at Pine Point are lucky that it's not that way in our community. SD: Physical and emotional abuse can destroy a person, and all it takes is someone to tell them to stop.
CS: After Ms. Olsen talk maybe Pine Point school could be the people to say stop.

Orange= participle
Pink= absolute
Purple= FAST word
* Lesbian Gay Bi-sexual Transgender
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1. Date:11/20/08 Assignment: Essay #7

2. I am trying to make sure that all of my punctuation is correct. Also I need to make sure that I have no "vagueness" in my writing.

3. I think the quote that I used really helped this piece of writing. I think that my second body paragraph is an okay paragraph.

4. I am not so sure that my absolute is completely correct. I think that my essay could be better.

5. C+

Kate's Essay!

Kate Scott
November 17, 2008

TS: Have you ever been made fun of because you don’t belive in the same things as some one else? SD: At Stump Olsens, a gay woman, high school a lot of people made fun of her, and she still cringes when she hears some one say “that’s so gay”. SD: Ms. Olsen says, “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me, that’s a lie!”. Ms. Olsen believes that words are much more hurt full and power full then getting beat up, and now she goes and teaches people about the gay community hopping people will stop.

.

TS: When Stump Olsen cam to speak to the ninth grade class on Monday, I realized how serious this situation really is. SD: Being at Pine Point we have been sheltered by the “real world”. CM: We have heard people say “that’s so gay” but that’s about it. CM: Not a lot of people have a family member or close friend that is gay, so they don’t understand that the words kids use today can be hurt full. SD: I think having Stump Olsen coming to talk to the ninth grade was an eye opener for a lot of kids. CM: I still don’t understand why some people can’t accept that some one is gay, but it’s a relief that there are still a lot of people that can. CM: Ms. Olsen, feeling that she had to stay true to her nature, has lost a lot of friends and family but some accepted her and she still has them. CS: It’s good to know that there are people who will accept gay people, even though there are a lot that still will not.

TS: When you hear the word discrimination what do you think of? Most people would think of racism, but I think of heterosexism. SD: In the dictionary it says, “Heterosexism is a term that applies to attitudes, bias, and discrimnation in favor of opposite-sex sexuality and relationships.” CM: Although a lot of people accept the gay community, there are a lot of people who don’t. CM: To me it doesn’t make sense why people yell names and make fun of them. SD: I accept them; I understand that the gay community did not pick to be gay. CM: A lot of people don’t understand that they are born that way. CM: I think if more people were educated about being gay they would be more accepting. CS: They can’t change the way they are, and they shouldn’t, people should understand that.

TS: Ms. Olsen has lost her family, and some friends while she was “coming out”. they did not support her with her choice of life like they should have, but she has staid strong and made many more friends that became her new family. Her life falling apart, Ms. Olsen turned out to be a strong woman.

Red=Participle

Blue=Absolute

*****************************************************************************************************************

Date-November 20, 2008

Assingment-Essay #7

1. I'm Trying to make all my grammer correct. and i also am trying to use the special terms correct each week.

2. I like my second body paragraph. I think I stayed under one topic through out the whole essay.

3. My into and conclution paragraphs could have related to my body paragraphs alittle bit better. I dont think I did my absolute correctly.

4. C+

Kimo's Essay #10

“No matter how you slice the pie, you still get pie.” This quote, spoken to me by my Uncle Michael about an informal occasion involving a squabble about the differences between two pieces of home baked apple pie, speak words not only for culinary direction, but for also a defense against the mistreatment of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) in the world. It seems so unfair the way that most our brought and beaten up, without a praise, without a thought, without a chance. With the thoughts of the very nature of a life like that, a woman came to our school that explained the pain and changed our lives.


TS Stump Olsen, a woman who endured the hardships that are inexplicitly demanded by society, showed us what strength, what determination, and what a little laughter can do to heal a damaged soul. SD1 LGBT issues are often very awkward to talk about and deal with, and these were our topics of the workshop. CM “’That’s Gay.’ Does anyone truly think about what that means?” asks Ms. Olsen. CM Because so many people are afraid of the issues surrounding different people, they instead choose to direct violence at it, to try to wound them so that they will simply be gone. SD2 Ms. Olsen had to go through countless abuses as a child, and even though of the strong woman she is today, the irrational prejudice around her has hurt her as they hurt many, in more ways than one. CM There are many hurtful things to say to people, take the phrase ‘That’s Gay’ for example. CM For some, it's such a reflexive term, they don’t even think about its true meaning. CM Stump teaches us to “Name It, Claim It, and Stop it.” CM She tells us that the best way to stop homophobia and sexism is to be the friend to remind the world that those words are wrong. SD3 Being the sheltered class that we are, growing in such a small community, it’s sometimes hard to face these sorts of issues; on the other hand, I believe we are also very mature, and when faced with these problems we know how to asses them right. CM I personally know others who’ve struggled with these problems, and I’ve always tried the best I could to help them. CM I think that when we saw Ms. Olsen we looked past the image of an openly gay woman, and jumped straight to the conclusion, “This woman looks like she’s got one heck of a talk for us!” CS Life is complicated, and it takes people like Stump Olsen to sort out the weight of your world and lay it out in front of you saying, ‘This is the weight you bear. So why not drop a load?’


TS Human emotion cannot be controlled, but it is not something to be locked away and left undisclosed. SD1 Emotions are what define us, and if someone’s emotions are a different sexuality than us, then who are we to tell them whom they have to like. CM The difference between us is as simple as the clothes we wear. CM King Richard from William Shakespeare’s play of the same name got it right when he said “I live with bread like you, feel want, Taste grief, need friends,” he tells us that behind everything we are all human. SD2 Heterosexism is also a choice; it is the choice that the only right sexuality is heterosexuality. CM Choices are just as important as emotion in defining who we are; we can just as easily choose the wrong choice as the right one. CM Though no one will ever 100 percent agree on anything, the fact remains that when the choice you choose is heterosexism, you are limiting yourself to a life of irrational hatred and unhappiness to both yourself and everyone around you. SD3 I personally have no problem with homosexual people. CM As I’ve said, I’ve known a couple of people who identify as gay and each one of them is as unique and entertaining as any dear friend. CM Though they may not be as open about it as some, the gay community is all around us, flourishing in the arts, in science, in politics, we even have homosexual celebrities. I believe that one day they will be accepted the way they should be, and that heterosexism can be abolished; we’ve made so many social accomplishments in the just the past year, an African American president, the legalization of gay marriage in CT, and now it is time to propel the United States into one where every relationship will be equal, and where people will be truly seen as that, people.


I’m sure that at least one time each of us in our class has said something that would be incredulously hurtful to an LGBT person. This is a joke that is never funny; more than 30% of all LGBT youth attempt suicide. For me especially, I know I’ve said mean things, terrible things that at the time just seemed like clear innocent jokes, my heart aching at the thoughts of those words which spout from my lips. I know forever that I will hold these mistakes in mind whenever I hear the true weapon of words directed at somebody. Ms. Olsen, a woman who’s lost her family, whose high school was about nothing but survival, who now today fights today for others like her to make their stories a little bit better is truly an inspiration to us all. Stump Olsen is a true hero, one of honesty, of integrity, and of laughter, and her story and teachings are of those I will never forget.




BOLD: Participle Phrase
Italics: Absolute Phrase








1. 11/20/08 Essay #10
2. I am trying to stay on topic, remove unnecessary words, and follow the special tools correctly.
3. I think that my first body paragraph flowed very nicely. I also think that it really encapsulated the themes of Ms. Olsen’s talk. I also like my opening paragraph.
4. I believe that my second body paragraph was kind of sloppy in a sense; I don’t think that I stayed under one umbrella for that paragraph. Also, I may not have used my absolute right.
5. C

Parker Verhoeff

English

Mr. Salsich

November 20 2008

An Extraordinary Story:
An Analysis of a Talk Given by Stump Olsen

1: Stump Olsen's talk gave me a new perspective on life. 2: It was terrifying to think someone could go through that much discrimination in high school. 3: But she is perfectly fine now, seeing her joke around in front of us shows how much she has accepted, and let go of the past. 4: She didn't have the greatest childhood to say the least , but the present is looking great.

TS: Stump Olsen explains, " I didn't tell a soul [that I was gay] until I was 20. I knew when I was five, but I didn't tell anybody until I was 20." SD: This says a lot about the fear that she had as a young lesbian, growing up in Minnesota. CM: By the time she was a sophomore- even though she said she "didn't tell a soul" that she was gay- she was getting beaten up twice a week just because they assumed that she was based on her appearance. CM: She didn't know what to do, she didn't want to tell her parents and the teachers saw what was happening but did nothing. SD: In turn, her family didn't know that she was gay until she was 20 either. CM: "Coming out" with her parents was a very difficult experience for her because she hasn't spoken to them since. CM: In fact, she told us that she lost her entire immediate family due to her homosexuality. CS: I think what Ms. Olsen had to go through was horrific; from school to family problems, it shows how extremely ignorant people can be.

TS: Though she might've had a rough time then, she's currently happy; she says "you lose some people, but you gain some great people." SD: She has a girlfriend and a good number of friends as well. CM: Her friends being loving and kind, she now has a family. CM: Since her birthdays coming up she knows that she won't get a birthday card from her parents, but her mailbox will be stuffed with cards from her friends. SD: She accepted the fact that the relationship between her and her family will never change. CM: She has moved on, but she still loves them and would be happy if they learned to love her again, as well. CM: However, she still has her friends and that's what counts the most. CS: In spite of all that has happened to her, she has overcome the heterosexism she endured as a child and has finally found happiness.

1: I enjoyed Ms. Olsen's talk very much. 2: Homosexuality is a topic we don't discuss that often, and I think it is good for us to do so. 3: It was necessary, because in this new generation we can help prevent the heterosexism that she encountered as a kid, from happening again. 4: Stump Olsen has endured a lot due to her sexuality, but that part of her life is over; a new and improved one has begun.

green= participle
red= absolute
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Self-Assessment

1. 11/20/08- An Analysis of a Talk given by Stump Olsen

2. I am continuing to work on comma issues. Also, using unnecessary words have been a re-occurring problem.

3. I see good uses of a participle and absolute. In addition, I used quotes that enhanced my writing.

4. I might've not included everything "under one umbrella". There also might be one comma-splice.

5. B

Kimo's Essay # 9

Kimo Gray
14.11.08
English
Mr.Salsich

Finding My Rainy Mountain

No matter who you are, or where you come from, everyone has a past. In the short story ‘The Way to Rainy Mountain,” by M. Scott Momaday, he tells the story of the Kiowa tribe, who lived on Rainy Mountain on the present plains of Oklahoma, and the hardships they had to endure. He also speaks of tradition, and the life the Kiowa’s lived, how they grew, how they told stories of old. Looking back on a story that tells of a tribe long gone and the importance they still have today, I believe that the message of this story is to accept your own culture, and to celebrate your past.
TS When we think of the past, we see nothing but old wounds long healed and forgotten if not for those tiny scars; when we think of tradition we think of jack-o-lanterns and November feasts; when we think of nature we think of the outside world, one that is too far for us to attempt to reach. SDI Momaday spoke about the hardships of the past and how inadequate those struggles seem to us in our daily lives; we do not appreciate our ancestors. CM Though we have not endured close to the pain they had, we must remember that they got us where we are today. CM “However tenuous their well-being, however much they had suffered and would suffer again, they had found a way out of the wilderness,” writes Momaday. CM Our ancestors, however distant they may seem, should be commemorated and respected, for if we respect our ancestors today, maybe our own descendents will smile about us. SD2 Tradition: “The handing down of beliefs, statements, legends, customs, and information from generation to generation,” as defined by Dictionary.com. CM Momaday also speaks of tradition, of the Kiowa’s worshiping of the sun, and the many festivities they would hold come summertime; they were a people full of tradition. CM Tradition is something that also seems too overlooked these days, but if we all care a little bit more, tell a few more stories of old, then the beauty of tradition will never die. SD2 The Kiowa’s, being a warrior tribe, fought a constant battle with nature, “[On Rainy Mountain] winter brings blizzards, hot tornadic winds arise in the spring, and in the summer the prairie is an anvil’s edge.” CM In our day and age, we are not fighting a battle against nature, but rather one to preserve it; we have lost touch with nature, but are trying emphatically to protect it and respect it. CM Though we find roots with our ancestors, we hold even deeper roots with nature and the earth itself; therefore nature truly is the foundation of existence. The Kiowa’s lived a life full of all these things, and they have proved that with respect for life, comes great contentment and appreciation.
There is so much to learn from our past, but in this day and age it seems like everyone has only an ostensible respect for the past, no one has the time to honor their ancestry, or to just share an old story. The past is not something to be eulogized, but rather, something to be exalted; it is a journey through time that brings awareness to the little things in life. Much like Momaday with the Kiowa tribe, I myself have somewhat lost my noble ancestry, forgotten my value for tradition, and omitted my touch with nature. I know with strength and determination I can regain these things, and just like the Kiowa’s, “Acquire the sense of destiny, therefore courage, and pride.”

FAST Words= BOLD
Three Action Sentence= Italics
Quotes= Underlined

How could someone tell a story about something when they weren't there to experience it? In the essay "The Way to Rainy Mountain" by N. Scott Momaday, he tells the story of the Kiowas. He says that his grandmother was there for a lot of the experiences the tribe went through. It's amazing how he can tell a story that he was even there for.

TS: In Momaday's essay there were three main things that I thoroughly enjoyed. SD: First, he told the story of the tribe, Kiowas without actually being there. CM: Aho, his grandmother, went through many experiences at a young age and he told us of those through stories she had told him. CM: He talks about how hard their lives were as they made their journey to Rainy Mountain. SD: Secondly, the imagery he used was stunningly believable. CM: "the grass turns brittle and brown, and it crack beneath your feet" made you feel as if you were on the top of the mountain. CM: As I read the story, I could feel "the sun at my back". SD: Lastly, His writing was an exquisite piece of history. CM: He makes learning about history more interesting. CM: The way he told the story was very different then a history textbook, it was real. CS: Momaday could make you feel as if you were there and that you could see and feel the pictures in the story.

Momaday writes with such great imagery, understands his history, and makes you love to learn about the Kiowa tribe. I now know what it was like for many of the Native Americans when the new people came to the west. I can picture Rainy Mountains with it's harsh weather. Momaday wrote a beautiful essay full of imagery and culture.

Kate's Essay

The essay, “The Way to Rainy Mountain” by N. Scott Momaday was a very engrossing. Some things that stuck out the most for me is the story about how the big dipper became. There were also stories in the essay that were about his grandmother and her tribe and traditions they had that were very fascinating.



The stories in the essay, “The Way to Rainy Mountain” were all ones that caught my attention. I especially liked the stories about the big dipper. The author tells one of the stories his grandmother told him about how the big dipper was created. She said that a man turned into a bear and chased after his seven sisters and a tree lifted them up into the night sky and they are now known as the Big Dipper. I have heard other stories about how the big dipper was created but this is one that I will remember. The author also talked about a customary dance, known as the sun dance, the Kiowa’s had for the sun. They believed that the sun was the god, because if the sun was never there, they would also not be there. The dance was very significant and powerful, but it came to an end and his grandmother was there for the last sun dance. Also got the sense that N Scott Momaday wished he could have been there for it too. I feel that he is telling these stories wishing he was there, with his grandmother, experiencing the memories.



While reading this essay I could tell how much this ment to the author. How much he wished he could be there and how he missed his grandmother. I got the feeling that he wanted to walk on “the dirt road to Rainy Mountain” with the tribe and his grandmother. But he can’t, so he has to remember the stories that his grandmother told him, and it will be the closest way he can go back.

Parker Verhoeff

9th Grade English

Mr. Salsich

November 12 2008

The Kiowas:
A reaction of an Essay

"Winter brings blizzards, hot tornadic winds arise in the spring, and in summer the prairie is an anvil's edge", a quote from N. Scott Momaday's essay, "The way to Rainy Mountain". That quote spoke of just some of the turmoils his people had to go through. However he uses excellent imagery in this wonderfully written essay. He paints a picture in your mind of the struggles as well as the exceptional qualities, of the Kiowa tribe.

TS: Momaday is a meticulous writer who explains what it was like to live in the Kiowa tribe. SD: He wasn't born yet to live through those times, but he speaks of his grandmother's life when she was little, and wanted to see what she had seen back then. CM: His grandmother's name was Aho, and she lived with her tribe at the base of "Rainy Mountain", in the Great Plains. CM: Even though she never trekked past the mountain,"the immense landscape of the continental interior lay like a memory in her blood". SD: By the time she was ten however, the tribe was met with several severe disturbances. CM: First the numbers of buffalo herd began to decline at alarming rate; they couldn't perform their sacred rituals without them. CM: Then soldiers came from Fort Sill, who were told to "disperse the tribe". CM: "Without bitterness, and for as long as she lived, she bore a vision of deicide", a terrorizing moment that she remembered for the rest of her life, but handled it with dignity. SD: She died very peacefully, "her face was like a child", Momaday said. CM: Momaday visited her grave once more and was taken a back,"There, where it ought to be, at the end of a long and legendary way, was my grandmother's grave. [...] Looking back once, I saw the mountain and came away." CS: All in all, the Kiowa tribe are an extraordinary people, which Momaday explained better than any other writer ever could.


This essay was an outstanding piece of literature that was filled with history and breath-taking imagery. Momaday writes about his grandmother, and how she lived through tough times but still made it back into society. He talks of the struggles, but also of the dignity that the Kiowas show. Momaday is proud to be part of the Kiowa tribe, and proud of his grandmother who will live on in his heart forever.

Kimos Essay #7

Kimo Gray
11.04.08
English 9
Mr. Salsich

I am the type of person who relishes the sigh of relief I get when I finish a good book or story. I’m not one to go back and re-read the same story and study it closely. The Garden Party, by Katherine Mansfield, is a simple story about a girl named Laura that comes face to face with the harsh reality of life when forced by society to value a silly garden party more than the death of a man lesser than her. Though re-reading stories and such is unusual to me, The Garden Party featured many subtle techniques and sentences that I had carelessly overlooked on my first reading.
On my re-reading of the Garden Party, I found certain things that I had failed to overlook before. One example is the function of class distinctions throughout the story. Laura states, that she feels as if she had a choice, she would socialize with all the people she could, she would have fun with these men rather than the boys, she would be herself, no matter what social status society gave them. But later in the story, immediately after learning the news of the man’s death, Jose, Laura’s sister, instantaneously accused the man, who was of lower class than them, of being a drunk, without even giving him a chance. Along with that, another overlooked example would be the distinct change in Laura’s appreciation of life. From the beginning, where her greatest worry was a silly little garden party, to the fretted prevention of the party in order to honor this unknown man, to her confrontation with the unanticipated. Laura faced her true initiation in this short story; her initiation into appreciating life. Furthermore, my third example of the success of re-reading would lie on page 6, where little Laura, still concerned about this garden party, sang a song. But this song spoke of the difficulty life trusts upon us, and how we all wish, sometimes, to just die. This superb act of foreshadowing that I missed in my first reading propels what seems to be a simple tale into a grand adventure through life’s biggest questions. Even though Garden Party may not have been my favorite piece ever, I think I have shown what a good re-reading can do; reveal truths, raise more questions and paint the picture a little bit clearer for next time you read it.
I don’t like to be proven wrong. Before given the assignment I would have stated that to go and re-read a whole story just to find information would be a useless waste of time. But given the large amount of detail I found in Ms. Mansfield’s writing, I now can say that I have been proven wrong. While it may not be the most ideal thing to do, the best way to enjoy a story is to go back and reveal the detail that makes it even better.

Kate's Essay!!!

When you’re at home reading a book, do you ever think to re-read it? At first I didn’t think to either. But while reading “The Garden Party” by Katherine Mansfield for the second time I realized how much I missed the first time reading, and how helpful it is to reread books.
When you first read, “The Garden Party” there is a lot to take in, and sometimes you miss it. But when you re-read the book you find out so much more about Laura and her family. They may not be the most important facts, but the little things make the story. For example, in the beginning of the story they talk about how Laura is the most creative daughter, and was good at placing things and how she could do it better then any one else. But when you keep reading, the work men think they can do it better and they do, they place the marquee where she didn’t even think to put it. Also, when you’re reading the book over the second time, you may have missed that they talk about classes a lot and how much it separates people. Even though Laura and her family lived down the road from a poor family, they never knew each other. Even when the man died who was poor, her family didn’t even think of canceling the party. Laura was the only one who thought to do that, when she told her family about it they told her it was absurd to do such a thing. I was really surprised that Laura was the only one who really cared about the peoples feeling even though they weren’t in her class. If I didn’t re-read the book, I would not have noticed any of these things.
Re-reading “The Garden Party” really changes my opinion about the story. At first I was not excited about having to re-read it again, because I did not enjoy it. But once I read it for the second time, and got a closer look in to the writing I learned to appreciate the short story much more.

Parker Verhoeff

9th Grade English

Mr. Salsich

November 04 2008

A Second Look:

An Analysis on a second reading of, “The Garden Party” by, Katherine Mansfield

Why would anyone read a story over again, you ask? Well, you can look for sentences, words, or themes that you didn’t see the first time you read it. It is extremely helpful if you want to be a serious reader, and try to understand what the author was trying to say, but you’ll also appreciate the story more as well. Overall, re-reading a story is a great way to understand more about what the author’s message was, and the aspects of the story that you didn’t understand the first time around.

"The Garden Party" was a very interesting read the first time, but reading it a second time gave me the opportunity to watch for things that I might have missed. For example, I realized how much Laura adored parties. But on the contrary, when the man died right across the street- without even giving it much thought- she assumed that the best decision was to call the party off. Laura heard that a man died, she thought it would be of best interest not to have the garden party, and quickly explained this to her mother and sister. However, both her mother and sister thought otherwise; her sister Jose says, "Stop the Garden Party? My dear Laura, don't be so absurd. Of course we can't do anything of the kind.", and finally the mother explained her argument; "But, my dear child, use your common sense. It's only by accident we've heard of it. If someone had died there normally [...] we should still be having our party, shouldn't we?" In addition, I also found that the song that Jose sang in the beginning, related to one of the themes of the whole story. She sings, "This Life is Wee-ary A Tear-a Sigh, A Love that Chan-ges. This Life is Wee-ary, A Tear-a Sigh. A Love that Chan-ges, And then... Goodbye! This LIfe is Wee-ary, Hope comes to Die. A Dream-a Wa-kening.", all of this relates to the theme of how people take life for granite and don't pay attention to life until they die or see death first hand. Like Laura, she didn't realize how "marvelous" life was until she saw the dead man's body lying there- peaceful and sanguine. Also, because I read the story a second time, I noticed that Laura did not enjoy walking across the street to give the basket to the newly widowed woman. But some how she managed to say, "[this experience] was simply marvelous", even though during her walk up to the house she was thinking, "Oh, to be away from this! [...] To be away from those staring eyes […] [I] only [want] to get out, to get away." I thought it was extraordinary for a teenager like her, after having that terrifying experience, to still come away with what was really important; how wonderful life really is- which was what Mansfield was trying to say in her writings as well. I also, gained a new appreciation for Mansfield’s writing, since I understand it more. In the end, I believe that reading this exceptional piece of literature twice was beneficial towards my understanding of the general theme, which was stated in this short story.

I enjoyed reading the short story, “The Garden Party” for a second time. I saw themes of the story in a new light. I wouldn’t have seen this if I had stopped reading after the first time I read it. Lastly, this second look helped my overall understanding of the story, which- in turn- made me appreciate the story more.

TS: When you read a story you think that you fully understand the plot and what the author is trying to say, but maybe you don't. SD: When I re-read "The Garden Party" I noticed so many important things that I didn't see before. SD: Re-reading helped me understand the story so much better. CS: Maybe at first re-reading a story seems silly but it really does make a difference.

TS:When I re-read "The Garden Party" I noticed three key parts of the story that I didn't see before. SD:Firstly, I didn't really notice how often Katherine Mansfield used extravagant in the story. CM:She used this word about five times over and I think it was to make a point that Laura was being very over dramatic. CM:The first time I read this story I did not take notice to this repetition. SD:Another thing I didn't see before was how Laura sings Life Is Weary and then she says at the end of the story that life is darling. CM:I didn't notice the obvious contrast between the two before. CM:Without re-reading this story I would not have thought about that. SD:Before I re-read The Garden Party I didn't fully realize how much class distinction there is. CM:Laura and her brother are disgusted by the small cabin down the hill from them. CM:It was a very important part of the story that I did not realize before. CS:Now after re-reading I see how much it can show you the main idea of the story.

TS: I noticed so many others important concepts when I read this story again. SD: I noticed how often the author repeated one word for emphasis. SD: I also noticed the contrast she was purposefully making between to parts of the story. CS: Re-reading a story may seem like a strange and annoying thing to do but in the end it truly helps out the reader.

Parker's post

Kimo's essay Number 5

Kimo Gray
10.24.08
Hamilton Salsich
English 9

Essentials of Life: Appreciation
An essay on an essay
To take a classic quote by quoting from Webster’s Dictionary, appreciation is “Understanding of the nature or meaning or quality or magnitude of something.” Stepping back and looking at my life, I ask myself, do I really appreciate my life? I have so much to give thanks for, such as my family, my friends, my ancestors, my country. Zora Neale Hurston, and her essay, “How it feels to be Colored Me,” present a new kind of appreciation, which tells that before one can appreciate everything around them, they must first appreciate themselves.
Zora Neale Hurston, whose childhood could be described as just ordinary, began her life colorless. Zora Neale Hurston was able to appreciate from an early age that skin color didn’t mean as much as attitude and demeanor, and that possessions didn’t mean nearly as much as happiness. From even an early age, this colored girl was able to find that sense of deep appreciation that so many of us quest for in our lives. She saw the person within, not just the judgmental skin-deep layer. Zora Neale Hurston was able to do something that is not to common nowadays-she loved herself. She loved her personality, she loved her dancing, and she loved her songs. She loved her skin, and she loved her life, however hard it may have been. Her biggest question was how even though she gave so much love and happiness to the people around her, that not everybody appreciated her the same way. It is hard, when you work so hard to enjoy life, only to have someone else kick at your walls of happiness, but Zora was able to rebuild it. Because she appreciated life and everything to do with it, be it music, art, or just making the world a little bit better, this was a voluble woman who even though she saw colorless, still saw the color that shines within a person.
More often than not, I find myself lacking the appreciation that I desperately need for myself; I have never been able to love myself as much as Zora Neale Hurston. Though I have led a relatively comfortable life, I realize that I don’t appreciate it as much as I should. Like I have said, I have anything I person could want, I have friends, I have family, I have a good education, I have life. But the one thing that I do not have is harmony with me. Let me step back and look at my jumbled life and see what Ms. Hurston would have seen. She would have seen that I have a knack for math, I like to run, I’m not the best when it comes to organization, and my mind is always a little random. But I hope that she would also see a kind person, an expeditious person, who even though can be confused from time to time, always tries to help his friends and family, always tried to help the world in some small way, always trying to love what is most important. I think the time I appreciate myself and my life most is when I am with my friends. When we are all together, laughing away at some dumb joke or having serious conversations about theoretical death matches (between Chuck Norris and Optimus Prime); they just bring out the life in me. I believe that the key to a long life is to stay happy, do what you love, and always keep some good friends. Though I may not always have the compliance I need with myself, looking back, I know that I am good person, one that will always do the right thing at the right time.
To once again quote from Webster’s dictionary, to be colored, “Is the act of defined by one or more attributes.” When I see myself in the mirror, I ask myself, what is my color? Am I a vivid orange, sparkling like the sun, or perhaps a mysterious blue, that shades behind everything else; maybe I’m a polka-dotted stripedy purple, or maybe I’m just shades of gray. Unlike Ms. Hurston, I don’t know my color, but when I finally do, I’m going to let it shine as bright as I can.







Purposeful Repetition: Underlined
F.A.S.T. Words: Bold

Scarlet

Scarlet Caruso

English 9

Mr. Salsich

October 21, 2008

Have you ever looked at your self in the mirror and said, “Wow I appreciate who I am!”? Zora Neale Hurston loved almost everything about her self, and she tells us that through her essay, “How It Feels To Be Colored Me”. She looks at the positive things in life instead of the negative. She shows us a rule that maybe we should all live by; appreciate who you are!

In Zora Neale Hurtson’s essay she writes about how she appreciates who she is. She loves being herself and really does not care what other people think. She is not a quiet person and loves expressing herself. Hurston relished the way she was, and tells us that a lot. Also, she really didn’t mind being a colored person back when African Americans were discriminated against. She knew that white people didn’t like her very much but that didn’t stop her from being herself. She never got angry when people were mean to her. She acknowledged her abilities to see things in a different way than others did. She loved music and the fact that she could enjoy it in the way she did. She loved performing for the white people who came through her town, loving the fact that she had the courage to do it. Zora Neale Hurstson loved her body, loved her mind and loved her life.

Hurston appreciated herself so much, so I wonder, what do I appreciate about myself? One thing I appreciate about my self is the fact that I can make people laugh. When one of my friends needs cheering up and I can get them to laugh, it’s wonderful. I like that I can make other people happy. Secondly, I don’t really care what other people think about me, which is nice. I love being who I am and expressing my self. I appreciate that I don’t mind being me! Lastly, I think that I am good to my friends. When I’m nice to my friends both of us are happy. When I’m a good friend they appreciate me as a good pal. I love making others laugh, I love being myself and I love being a good friend.

Zora Neale Hurston and I appreciate who we are. We love being who we are and love to make others laugh. She believed that it was magnificent to appreciate who you are. In conclusion, I believe that everyone has something about them that they appreciate, so I leave you with one question; what do you appreciate about yourself?

bold= purposeful repetition
italics= FAST word

Parker Verhoeff

9th Grade English

Mr. Salsich

October 21 2008

The Art of Appreciation
An Analysis of An Essay by Zora Neale Hurston, and My Own Life

Appreciation is found in all walks of life. It is most surely found in Zora Neale Hurston's essay, "How It Feels to Be Colored Me", but I would like to think that it is found in my own life as well. Hurston explains that appreciating yourself is one of the greatest values you can have. Everyone should appreciate themselves no matter what situation you're currently in; if Hurston can so can you!

Hurston has been through tougher times then we will ever be in, and she still managed to keep her composure. She was often discriminated against horribly, and viciously. Even though she has been through all of this, she still manages to write,"How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company! It's beyond me." How anyone could still think that in times of struggle is beyond me! In addition, she was often discriminated against due to the color of her skin. She still pulled through, she was still able to make the best of a tainted society. She exclaims, "I am not tragically colored. There is no great sorrow dammed up in my soul, nor lurking behind my eyes.", because she's saying she's not mad that she's African American , she does not have any grudges towards anybody. Hurston thinks in the present, she lets go of the past and appreciates herself for who she is. Hurston explains further;"Slavery was sixty years in the past. [...] Slavery was the price i paid for civilization, and the choice was not with me.", she said this because of what i said before; she lets go of the past and appreciates herself for who she is. These values that she holds dear, should be carried out by everyone more often. Zora Neale Hurston has an incredible appreciation for herself and life in general, which is an exceptional attribute to have.

I would like to think I appreciate myself as much as Hurston appreciates herself. However, I don't have the exact same tenacity to do so, that Hurston had. I'm involved with so many things right now (e.g. school, sports and secondary school) that I haven't taken time out of my day to just appreciate me! I need to start appreciating myself for who I am. As I said before, if Hurston can do it through her struggles, than surely I can. It's not anywhere near as hard for me to have the same appreciation that Hurston did in the late 1920's. I know now that appreciation for one's self is one of the most important values to have, so I will work on it more often. Though, I do appreciate myself in a few aspects of my life. I can play lacrosse, participate in the Pine Point cross country team, start thinking about what I'm going to do next year, have a social life and still maintain decent grades in school . This is crucial to do, because I want to be the best I can be right now, so it can help me in the future. In the long run, I am going to work on this very important attribute, and hopefully improve on it over time.


This art of appreciation is an extraordinary thing to master. Zora Neale Hurston, no doubt, had done this and I hope that I eventually will too. Appreciating yourself is a wonderful thing to do no matter where or who you are.

Kate's Essay!

Kate Scott
Mr. Salsich
October 21, 2008
Appreciation:
An Essay on Appreciation shown in the Essay
“How It Feels to Be Colored Me” and My Life

TP: Do you have things about your self that you really appreciate? Zora Neale Hurston has a lot of things she likes and appreciates about her self. Hurston is a confident and outgoing colored person. 4 In her essay, “How It Feels to Be Colored Me” she talks about what she loves and appreciates about her self.

TP: “How It Feels To Be Colored Me” is about Zora Neale Hurston, a woman who is very sure of herself. SD: Ms. Hurston doesn’t really care what people think about her, about her skin color, about her personality, or about how she acts [purposeful repetition]. CM: When she was younger she used to stand out on her porch and dance and talk to the people who walked by. CM: She didn’t mind what other people thought of her while dancing on the porch. SD: Hurston also didn’t let thing get to her. CM: When she was 13 she went to a new school and stood out from a lot of white kids. CM: When they said things to her about the color of her skin she just let it go, because they were the one missing out. They were missing out on her exciting personality, and they were also missing out on a new friendship. [purposeful repetition] SD: Zora Hurston is a very confident person. CM: I felt like the essay could have been summarized with, “this is who I am, take it or leave it”. CM: She is comfortable with who she is, and if some one doesn’t like her, or doesn’t like the color of her skin, it’s their loss. CS: Zora Neale Hurston doesn’t care what people think, because she appreciates her self.

TP: Thinking about what Hurston likes about her self made me wonder what I appreciate and like about myself. SD: The first thing that came to mind was my family. CM: My family has shaped me in to a strong caring person. CM: They have pushed me into the right direction. SD: The second thing I appreciate is my love for sports. CM: Practice is the tedious [FAST] part of playing a sport but knowing that I will become a better player for the sport I love keeps me going. CM: I may not be the best player, but I don’t mind, because I’m doing some thing I love to do. SD: I also appreciate that I can play the piano. CM: I'm not that great of a player, but when I finally master a song, it makes me feel exhilarated [FAST]. CM: Like playing sports, practicing can be boring, but I know if I don’t, I wont be about to play the song. CS: Whether I’m sitting behind a piano, running on a sports field or at dinner with my family I realize I can always find something to appreciate.

TP: No matter what you’re going through, or what you’re doing, you can always find something to appreciate. It could be your family and friends, sports, or music. But you always have to remember the aspects of your life you appreciate, like Ms. Hurston.

Kimo's revised essay

Kimo Gray
10.10.08
Hamilton Salsich
English 9

Love, Loss, Gain, and Music
A comparative essay
Is there truly any way for us not to lose this game of life? It seems like the more we gain every day, the more that we have to lose, the more for us to be hurt, the more for us to just succumb to the tortures of daily life. Life will always be difficult, but two characters who fought this storm of life are Dexter Green (“Winter Dreams”), a young successful man who was able to have anything he ever wanted- except happiness, and Sonny (“Sonny’s Blues”) , a poor Harlem man whose fight with drugs cost him more than he could ever imagine. Their own personal struggles each raise personal questions which will cause even the wisest of men to question their existence.
It may be hard to see a silver lining through the dark clouds of daily struggles, but you have to believe it’s there. Sonny’s story starts way back in high school, when he started doing drugs. He carried on this addiction for years, until it finally brought him to jail, where he lost the love and respect of his brother. Once released from jail, Sonny went through his own personal cleansing, so that the drugs would never take anything away from him again. Trying desperately to understand what Sonny was going through, Sonny’s brother invited him into his home, where Sonny gained a new love-the piano. Sonny would play that piano for every hour, every day, every waking moment he had. It was a way to pour out his soul- all the conflicting emotions raging a fiery battle within him, so that he could finally enjoy the music that now commanded his life. Because his brother was still unable to recognize the pain that Sonny endured every day, Sonny had to leave, and escaped life through the military. When he returned, he and his brother tried many times to reconcile, but it seemed do to their conflicting views they were not able to develop a brotherly relationship. In a last attempt, Sonny invited his brother to hear him play at a club, and there, with the cool jazz and mild blues playing in the background, his brother had an epiphany; Sonny had lost so much, all he needed was to do what he loved so that he could heal. The story stops there, but with the brothers reconciliation, a new foundation had been gained in Sonny’s life, so that he may never topple down again.
Even in the most diverse people and lifestyle, the simplicity of sadness can be found. Dexter Greene is a man who could not be more opposite of Sonny- He is rich, he is successful, he is the epitome of fulfillment through all his lovely possessions and accomplishments. Except Dexter has a tiny little black hole in his heart, that will never truly allow him to be happy. That hole’s name is Judy Jones, the woman who broke his heart again and again, until all that was left were shards of a man who once was. Even from boyhood, Dexter loved Judy; he quit his job as a caddy, which he was quite good at, simply so that he would not have to interact with her. In his adult years, that love intensified, leading to a relationship that would become an on and off adventure that always kept him hanging. Ultimately, he convinced himself that she would never truly love him back, and that there was nothing to gain by chasing after her, so he left, escaping to the army much like Sonny did. Years later, as he was talking with a friend, the subject of Judy Jones came up- or rather, Mrs. Lud Simms. With the new description of Judy Jones thrust upon him, now an ordinary, plain, housewife, Dexter was thrown into an ineluctable spiral that served as the final proof that his life with Judy Jones was over. His undying love for the now imaginary Judy Jones was lost and turned his life into “the story of a man who gets nearly everything he wants at the cost of nearly everything that made it worth wanting.” (Burhans Jr.) Though the end of Dexter’s story isn’t nearly as fulfilling as Sonny’s, it still serves as a horrific example of loss and gain in our lives.
Loss can be a hard thing to cope with; I recently lost a beloved grandparent, and his passing hurt me in more ways than I could have imagined. However, with every loss there is a flipside of gain; I know that I will always be able to love my Poppop, no matter what. Though Sonny and Dexter’s experiences were less than ideal, it shows how even the most untouchable people can be burned, and that music can function as a window to the soul, and that no matter what, there is no reason to ever stop on living your life. As Winston Churchill once said, “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another without loss of enthusiasm;” without loss, one can never truly appreciate what the life one has.









Purposeful Repetition: Underlined
FAST Words: Bold
Burhans , Clinton S., Jr.. "Winter Dreams: ‘‘Magnificently Attune to Life’’: The Value of ‘‘Winter Dreams’’" Short Stories for Students. Ed. Marie Rose Napierkowski. Vol. 15. Detroit: Gale, 1998. eNotes.com. January 2006. 7 October 2008.
http://www.enotes.com/winter-dreams/magnificently-attune-life-value-winter-dreams

Kimo Confused???

Hey guys, just wondering/making sure that the "polish essay assignment" was for our one from two weeks ago, or our recent in-class one. Thanks!

P.S., If it is the older one, please read and comment on my older essay.

Scarlet Caruso

Mr. Salsich

English

October 17, 2008

Have you ever wondered what you have lost and gained from experiences that have happened to you in your life? In these two books, Sonny’s Blues and Winter Dreams, the main characters lose something special and gain something special. In Sonny’s Blues the thing that he won were better than what he lost but in Winter Dreams it is quite the opposite. They both have great gains and sad losses.

In the book Sonny’s Blues, the main character of the story, Sonny, loses a lot of things and gains some too. In the story, he gains a closer bond to his brother once Sonny plays his blues for him. They bonded through the music Sonny played for him and then his brother understood how he could get himself wrapped up in all those bad things. His family was upset that he took the path most kids growing up in Harlem did and decided to do drugs. I think that the things the he obtained were much greater than the loss. In the end he won back some of that respect from his brother. Finally getting someone to understand your problems is a wonderful thing, and having it comprehended through music is even more amazing. The protagonist, Sonny, lost many things but getting to know his brother more, made up for them all.

In the short story Winter Dreams, Dexter, the story’s protagonist, also gains and loses important things. One thing that Dexter forfeited was the love of his life, Judy Jones. He had a choice between the woman the public wanted him to marry and the woman he loved, but ended up with a woman he could never truly love. One small thing that Dexter learned was that, you can’t always get what you want. It’s a gain he will carry with himself for the rest of his life. It’s something everyone must learn. Even though he learned a precious lesson, he could have had the love of his life, therefore I believe that what he gained does not make up for what he lost. He could have the only woman he had ever loved. Like Clinton Burhans says in the essay Winter Dreams, ‘Magnificently Attune to Life’, “all his winter dreams, except for Judy Jones, have come true.” The main character Dexter lost something greater than anything he could have gained.

As you now know, both of these story’s protagonists have lost and gained something. They both have something that has perished, whether it was a big loss, a miniature loss or a loss they didn’t even notice. The things that they gained from their experiences were small and big as well. Overall these main characters had things that they loosed and gained

Works Cited:

Clinton S. Burhans, Jr.. "Winter Dreams: ‘‘Magnificently Attune to Life’’: The Value of ‘‘Winter Dreams’’." Short Stories for Students. Ed. Marie Rose Napierkowski. Vol. 15. Detroit: Gale, 1998. eNotes.com. January 2006. 9 October 2008. .

Kimo Gray
10.10.08
Hamilton Salsich
English 9

Love, Loss, Gain, and Music
A comparative essay
Is there truly any way for us not to lose this game of life? It seems like the more we gain every day, the more that we have to lose, the more for us to be hurt, the more for us to just succumb to the tortures of daily life. Life will always be difficult, but two characters who fought this storm of life are Dexter Green (Winter Dreams), a young successful man who was able to have anything he ever wanted- except happiness, and Sonny (Sonny’s Blues) , a poor Harlem man whose fight with drugs cost him more than he could ever imagine. Their own personal struggles each bring thoughts to one’s self that raise personal questions that can cause even the wisest of men to question their existence.
It may be hard to see a silver lining through the dark clouds of daily turpentine, but you have to believe it’s there. Sonny’s story starts way back in high school, when he started doing drugs. He carried on this addiction for years, until it finally brought him to jail, where he lost the love and respect of his brother. Once released from jail, Sonny went through his own personal retreat, so that the drugs would never take anything away from him again. Trying desperately to understand what Sonny was going through, Sonny’s brother invited him into his home, where Sonny found a new love-the piano. Sonny would play that piano for every hour, every day, every waking moment he had. It was a way to pour out his soul; all the conflicting emotions raging a fiery battle within him, so that he could finally enjoy the music that now commanded his life. Because his brother was still unable to recognize the pain that Sonny endured every day, Sonny had to leave, and escaped life through the military. When he returned, he and his brother tried many times to reconcile, but it seemed with their conflicting views they were not able to gain a brotherly relationship. In a last attempt, Sonny invited his brother to hear him play at a club, and there, with the cool jazz and mild blues playing in the background, his brother had an epiphany; Sonny had lost so much, all he needed was to do what he loved so that he could heal. The story stops there, but with the brothers reconciliation, a new foundation had been secured in Sonny’s life, so that he may never topple down again.
Even in the most diverse people and lifestyle, the simplicity of sadness can be found. Dexter Greene is a man who could not be more opposite of Sonny- He is rich, he is successful, he has the epitome of fulfillment through all his lovely possessions and accomplishes. Except Dexter has a tiny little black hole in his heart, that will never truly allow him to be happy. That hole’s name is Judy Jones, the woman who broke his heart again and again, until all that was left were shards of a man who once was. Even from boyhood, Dexter loved Judy; he quit his job as a caddy, which he was quite good at, simply so that he would not have to interact with her. In his adult years, that love intensified, with them starting a relationship that would become an on and off adventure that always kept him hanging. Ultimately, he convinced himself that she would never truly love him back, and he left, escaping to the army much like Sonny did. Years later, as he was talking with a friend, the subject of Judy Jones came up- or rather, Mrs. Lud Simms. With the new description of Judy Jones thrust upon him, now an ordinary, plain, housewife, Dexter was thrown in an ineluctable spiral that served as the final proof that his life with Judy Jones was over. His undying love for the now imaginary Judy Jones turned his life into “the story of a man who gets nearly everything he wants at the cost of nearly everything that made it worth wanting.” (Burhans Jr.) Though the end of Dexter’s story isn’t nearly as fulfilling as Sonny’s, it still serves as a horrific example of loss and gain in our lives.
Loss can be a hard thing to cope with; I recently lost a beloved grandparent, and his passing hurt me in more ways than I could have imagined. But all that means is with every loss, there is a flipside of gain; I know that I will always be able to love my Poppop, no matter what. Though Sonny and Dexter’s experiences were less than ideal, it shows how even the most untouchable people can be burned, and that music can function as a window to the soul, and that no matter what, there is no reason to ever stop on living your life. As Winston Churchill once said, “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another without loss of enthusiasm.”











Purposeful Repetition: Underlined
FAST Words: Bold
Burhans , Clinton S., Jr.. "Winter Dreams: ‘‘Magnificently Attune to Life’’: The Value of ‘‘Winter Dreams’’" Short Stories for Students. Ed. Marie Rose Napierkowski. Vol. 15. Detroit: Gale, 1998. eNotes.com. January 2006. 7 October 2008.
http://www.enotes.com/winter-dreams/magnificently-attune-life-value-winter-dreams

KIMO SPEAKING

Hey guys, just clarifying that i will NOT have my new essay up tonight, so if you would just post your comments on the other one, I would appreciate it. But please check back here tommorow to comment on my newer one. Thank you!!

Same Here!

I would also not mind if you guys could fix things in my essay as long as you put it in a different color. Thanks!
-Scarlet=)

Hey!

Hey Scarlet, Parker and Kimo!
Just wanted to let you know if there were any mistakes in my essay, feel free to go and change it in another color. Thanks!
-Kate

Dear Blog Members and Mr. Salsich,

I've come to realize that my essay wasn't nearly polished enough, so I've decided to rewrite it about the same topic. Please feel free to comment on my first essay, but I would also appreciate it if you read and responded to my newer, more improved one, which should be up on Wednesday. Thank you.

-Kimo Gray

Kimo Gray
10.07.08
Hamilton Salsich
English 9

Love, Loss, Gain, and Music
A comparative Essay

Have you ever heard the saying, “You don’t know what you have in life until it is gone?” Life can be hard, and we all know this, we all face our personal losses and gains every day. But two people who know how to live life’s hard times are Dexter Greene, a very successful young man who invested his heart in a woman who was almost as untouchable as a ghost, and Sonny, a run-of-the-mil man from Harlem, whose life was messed up by drugs. Those these two characters never met, if they had, there would have been a lot of talk about the losses and gains in both “Winters Dreams” and “Sonny’s Blues.”
Winters dreams is a story of a man who wasted two years of his life chasing after the same woman who hurt him again and again, Judy Jones. It seems like all love stories involve tragic loss and devastating heartbreak, but this story had that except about 5 dozen times. It seems like every time Dexter wanted to be with Judy, a pretty girl who was often with many different men, she would keep on hurting him. Their destructive relationship lasted on and on, but eventually the repetitive loss became too much for Dexter, and he tried to move on. Ironically, after letting go of Judy, he became engaged to another woman, but with his new fiancé he did not gain the passion and fire that Judy carried about with her. Suddenly Judy reenters the picture, and destroys Dexter’s life once again, splitting him up with his fiancé. In an effort to hide from his pain, Dexter flees to the military. Years later, having finally moved on, his friend starts telling him about the new, less fiery, now tamed housewife version of Judy Jones, much to Dexter’s chagrin. In that moment his picture of Judy Jones is destroyed, and he realizes that all his winter de=reams had come true, but in leading himself to live an imaginary vision of Judy Jones prevented him from enjoying his dreams, turning his life into “the story of a man who gets nearly everything he wants at the cost of nearly everything that made it worth wanting.” (Burhans Jr.) Dexter is no longer at peace with his dreams, as there was always one that could never been fulfilled.
Another soul who has been damaged in more ways than one is Sunny, a poor Harlem man whose life was once destroyed by drugs. On his return from Jail, his brother, who narrates the story, grudgingly decides to take him in, so that he can help Sunny to be normal. But Sonny gains a new love, music. He fills his brother’s house with the sounds of his pain, his suffering, but the brother won’t listen to Sonny. Eventually Sonny leaves, as he feels he has lost his brothers love. Multiple times they try to reconcile, but Sonny’s brother doesn’t understand that living without suffering is impossible. Sonny is similar to Dexter in the sense that they both lost loved ones; Dexter lost Judy, while Sonny lost his brother. Finally, in a desperate reach out to his brother, Sonny invites him to listen to him play at the club. There, through the cool jazz and smooth tunes Sonny’s brother is able to feel that intense appreciation, and feels Sonny’s Blues. The story ends there, but that does not mean that this inspiring story ends without one more gift- a gift of friendship and understanding between the two brothers.
It’s true that sometimes our life can seem less than ideal, but we can always try to find some way to make the best of it. Be it a simple struggling homework assignment, or an argument worth a friend, just remember Sonny’s patience and understanding, Dexter’s determination, and channel that indefinable peace, one that only count their losses, so that more gains will come in the future. As Winston Churchill once said, Success is the ability to go from one failure to another without loss of enthusiasm.”



Burhans , Clinton S., Jr.. "Winter Dreams: ‘‘Magnificently Attune to Life’’: The Value of ‘‘Winter Dreams’’" Short Stories for Students. Ed. Marie Rose Napierkowski. Vol. 15. Detroit: Gale, 1998. eNotes.com. January 2006. 7 October 2008.
http://www.enotes.com/winter-dreams/magnificently-attune-life-value-winter-dreams

Kate Scott
Mr. Salsich
9th grade English
October 6, 2008
Both short stories, “Sonny's Blues”, by James Baldwin and “Winter Dreams” by, F. Scott Fitzgerald's have gains and losses. I feel like sonny, a drug addict had more gains then Dexter the successful man. Sonny’s life was hard but he knew where he belonged, unlike Dexter.


I feel that when sonny has a loss, he ends up with a gain too. The loss that starts the story is when Sonny’s parents die. I think it really hurts him and he hides the pain by playing the piano. With him playing the piano, he skipped school and started using drugs. One of the gains is that Sonny got the respect of his brother. At first the narrator didn’t believe that playing the piano should be the only thing in Sonny’s life, and his job. But the narrator finally hears Sonny playing the piano he realizes that sonny belongs there. Another gain in “Sonny’s Blues” is Sonny’s appreciation for music. This gain is shown through the whole story. It starts at the beginning when his parents die and can be found through out the whole book. When the narrator stopped to listen at the end of the story it made it seem that sonny was going to stop using drugs and his life may turn in to a better life.


I feel that Dexter in the short story “Winter Dreams” has more losses then gains. One gain that he does have is success. When Dexter moved to the city and went to collage he learned a lot it helped him start his own business. The business turned him from a caddy at his golf course to a golfer. When Dexter goes back to gold he sees Judy Jones again and thinks she’s even beautiful them before. He and Judy have a thing for a few days and Judy decides to moves on and leaves Dexter. Loosing Judy was not deters biggest loss, it was that her personality faded when she got married to the man she loved. All though she had the gift of “eternal youth (Burhans)” as the essay, ‘‘Magnificently Attune to Life’’: The Value of ‘‘Winter Dreams’’ says Dexter loved her personally more and the way she got what she wanted. . But now she got what she wanted and her personality was vanishing, disappearing and evaporating. His losses are through out the book and there are only a few gains.


Both of the stories are good and different. They make you think about different things but they are also similar by both having gains and losses. They both teach you a different lesson with there gains and the same with the losses. Both stories and protagonist have gains and losses.

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Works Cited
Burhans , Clinton S., Jr.. "Winter Dreams: ‘‘Magnificently Attune to Life’’: The Value of ‘‘Winter Dreams’’." Short Stories for Students. Ed. Marie Rose Napierkowski. Vol. 15. Detroit: Gale, 1998. eNotes.com. January 2006. 7 October 2008. .
http://www.enotes.com/winter-dreams/magnificently-attune-life-value-winter-dreams

Parker Verhoeff

Mr. Salsich

9^th Grade English

06 October 2008

You Have to Lose Some to Gain Some:

An Analysis on Two Short Stories

In both, “Sonny’s Blues” by James Baldwin and “Winter Dreams” by F. Scott Fitzgerald; the main characters are very captivating. Sonny (of “Sonny’s Blues) and Dexter (of “Winter Dreams”) are affected by their losses and gains tremendously, throughout their stories. They both endured their share of hardships, and welcomed contentment. They both had completely different experiences but, like in all of life, they have to suffer before they can succeed.

Sonny had to lose a lot to gain a little. He had to lose his brother to gain his music ability. Sonny’s brother didn’t want him to play music at all, especially jazz, the music Sonny enjoyed the most. Sonny lost all contact with his brother for some time, just so he could become a skilled musician. In addition, Sonny went down the “wrong path” before he could realize what the right one was. He became addicted to heroin, and had to break the habit by realizing he wasn’t just hurting himself, he was hurting the ones around him- mostly his older brother. He originally tried heroin because of music and musicians around him, but the heroin was threatening to ruin his piano playing abilities. In turn, when he quit, he got his music and brother back. All of which, means that he had to lose his old life to gain a new one. He had to break that heroin addiction, and he had to lose his old friends that were a bad influence on him. Sonny had done this to gain his brother and his piano back from the depths of his heart, where he hadn’t looked in so long. “Sonny’s Blues” was a story about Sonny’s struggles to gain what might not seem like much, but what meant the world to him.

On the other hand, Dexter Green started out with nothing and gradually worked his way to the top. Dexter gained power in his business, but lost Judy Jones. He became very successful, but lost his one and only true love. Dexter did, indeed lose Judy, and instead had the picture of “Ms. Lud Simms” forever stained on his mind. This wasn’t for the better, but he knew that he was going to have to accept the fact that she had changed after she married. “[H]e loses not only his ability to go on loving her but […] apart of himself, […] his love for Judy and his dream of having her […] by forcing on him a new intolerable image of Judy.” (Burhans 2), he can’t even love her anymore, from the images that were embossed in his mind of “Ms. Lud Simms” instead of Judy Jones. Much like Sonny, Dexter abandoned his old life to obtain a new one. He tried to forget about the past, forget about Judy, so he finally got engaged to a new woman. He tried to look forward to his future in the east with his profitable, new business. He achieved all of this, except for the Judy Jones part. In the end, he attained all of his “Winter Dreams”, except for his single, true love.

“Sonny’s Blues” and “Winter Dreams” are exceptional stories. The main characters are completely different, but they both have to endure suffering and be able to gradually bounce back. They both need to e able to gain a moderately better life than they previously had. It’s the same in all of life; you have to lose some to gain some.

Works Cited

Burhans , Clinton S., Jr.. "Winter Dreams: ‘‘Magnificently Attune to Life’’: The Value of ‘‘Winter Dreams’’." Short Stories for Students. Ed. Marie Rose Napierkowski. Vol. 15. Detroit: Gale, 1998. eNotes.com. January 2006. 7 October 2008. .

------- = F.A.S.T. Word

------ = Purposeful Repitition