The essay, “The Way to Rainy Mountain” by N. Scott Momaday was a very engrossing. Some things that stuck out the most for me is the story about how the big dipper became. There were also stories in the essay that were about his grandmother and her tribe and traditions they had that were very fascinating.
The stories in the essay, “The Way to Rainy Mountain” were all ones that caught my attention. I especially liked the stories about the big dipper. The author tells one of the stories his grandmother told him about how the big dipper was created. She said that a man turned into a bear and chased after his seven sisters and a tree lifted them up into the night sky and they are now known as the Big Dipper. I have heard other stories about how the big dipper was created but this is one that I will remember. The author also talked about a customary dance, known as the sun dance, the Kiowa’s had for the sun. They believed that the sun was the god, because if the sun was never there, they would also not be there. The dance was very significant and powerful, but it came to an end and his grandmother was there for the last sun dance. Also got the sense that N Scott Momaday wished he could have been there for it too. I feel that he is telling these stories wishing he was there, with his grandmother, experiencing the memories.
While reading this essay I could tell how much this ment to the author. How much he wished he could be there and how he missed his grandmother. I got the feeling that he wanted to walk on “the dirt road to Rainy Mountain” with the tribe and his grandmother. But he can’t, so he has to remember the stories that his grandmother told him, and it will be the closest way he can go back.
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Kate, in the first two sentences, there are several small mistakes...and there are quite a few throughout the essay. In the future, try to be really watchful for those.
* The last sentence in the first par. might be tightened like this: "The stories about his grandmother, her tribe, and its traditions were fascinating." Your sentence had 23 words, and this revision has only 12 -- but it says the same thing. Work on tightening your writing like this as often as possible. Many sentences in this essay could use tightening.
* The sentence beginning "The author also talked..." is a bit awkward. Check it out and make repairs.
* No sentence labels??
* "Also got the sense" ... did you leave something out?
*Final par: "ment" should be "meant"
Kate, there are more little mistakes in this essay than is usual for you. Please make all corrections by Friday morning.
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