Kate Scott
May 19, 2009
Mr. Salsich
English 09
The Garden Stone and I:
An Essay about a Garden Stone, My Life, and a Passage
According to Rainer Maira Rilke everything is changing. But one things that is not changing, is we can't let go. Unlike a garden stone, or our eyes, we like to hold on and grasp things. Rilke is trying to tell us that we need to change into something more like eyes.
The first passage that Rainer Maria Rilke wrote is talking about transforming. He says, "life is transformation." I agree with what he is saying. From when you are born to when you die you are always changing. You change your mind, your clothes, how you act, and your physical appearance (TETRACOLON CLIMAX). Throughout your life you will be a baby, a child, a teen, a young adult, an adult, an elder, and many more tranformations between these phases. We are all continually transforming.
Eyes are so ready to grasp and let go compared to hands that restrain us in the passage by Rainer Maria Rilke (ANTITHESIS). When we use our eyes we scan and take everything in, we see the good and the bad. Our hands can limit us and not allow us to see all the possibilities. A garden stone is similar to our eyes, and a patio is like our hands. A garden stone leads us on a path and provides us with different passages. A patio is a defined area, which to some, can be restricting like hands and limits us. By traveling down a garden stone it allows you to experience new adventures, taking them in and letting them go, if you choose too.
I have to use more of my eyes and less of my hands as I travel on different garden stones to new adventures. Using my eyes will allow me to take in all that I can see rather than using my hands just to grasp. I am confident that I will be able to transform myself into acting like a set of eyes, rather then a set of hands.
Kate Scott - Self Assessment
1. Things to Work on:
I need to work on understanding all the tools. I always need to look back online, I wish that i wont have to do that any more.
2. Things you did a good job on:
I think that most of my paragraphs were more graceful then usual. I worked hard on them this week.
3. What grade:
B
3 comments:
Kate-
What a wonderful essay! I really like you title because it made me laugh and get interested in the essay. I also love the way you relate the garden stone to your life because it's so true. Two things you could work on is to check over and look for carless errors. For example, don't forget to capitalize Pine Point.
-Scarlet
Kate!
WOOOOOOOOWWWIIIIEEEE! I loved how your first body paragraph when you compared your life at Pine Point to a stone being covered "through out the seasons." This is probably one of your best essays yet. However, there are a few careless errors, as Scarlet said. For instance in the sentence,"You change you mind, your clothes, how you act, and your physical appearance," you should change, "You change you mind," to "You change your mind." So just read it over for typos, and your sure to have a HUMDINGER!
Dear Kate, Shoop da Whoop! Nice essay! I really enjoyed you're first body paragraph, and how you talked about being "covered." Remember to expand you're concluding paragraph. That and another look for errors should grant you another Awesome essay!
Post a Comment